F*** Verizon

This will be one of my more angry posts. Just warning you. The love of my life has gotten new Internet and phone service. I figured that would be a good thing: we can now chat over the net with great ease. Heh, wrong. There's this company called Verizon, and Verizon hates it when people talk to each other. So, they came up with the evil plan to screw over the world by starting a phone company, but having really shitty service. Oh, the wonders of new-age technology! Since Verizon has done this, it has become very hard to talk to the love of my life. Our calls are incessantly being dropped, and when they are dropped my angel has to wait for the service to return. Isn't that delicious? So, I have been having rushed, short, broken conversations with my love. I do not get to see this person everyday. All I ask is for that voice to appear through the receiver. Is that too much? I guess so. Well, I bid you all ado. Verizon go f*** yourself. I'd cut every last one of you if I could....slowly.

Steps?

Recently, I talked a friend who explained the concept of steps in a relationship to me. Am I the only one who didn't know about these? Apparently, it's also very impolite to skip a step. That's a bit dry isn't it? I don't think a relationship should be, "Okay, now that I've done that I can do this." If you want real passion things shouldn't be plannned; they should just happen. Get caught up in the moment. I thought that's how things were supposed to work. Then another friend brought up the step of...well, sex. That's a whole different thing. You all know my feelings about that. It's overrated. I'm not ready. Don't get me wrong, my significant other is quite desirable, quite desirable. It's just, I'm too young. One day, sure. I'll rock you like a hurricane. I'll wreck you. Whatever you want. The theme is, ladies and gentlemen, spontaneity is passion.

Faithfully

Hello, faithful readers. Although, I doubt you exist. It has been awhile since I posted anything new, so I thought I'd write about a little something that struck me as a tad odd. Remember her (my angel)? Well, I was telling her about a girl that recently hit on me. Now I'm not trying to make her sound like the jealous type or controlling because it got on my nerves too. Do you know the type of attempted flirting where the person follows you around, mumbles compliments, and laughs at things he/she doesn't understand? It was that kind. It was pitiful. I mean I get it, I'm awkward too, but christ. Plus, the fact that I had a significant other was quite lucid. As I was saying, my girlfriend is so self-conscious and so worried that she fears I will leave her for someone in my residence. Obviously, that will not be the case. I have fallen so hard in love with this girl that everything in life just seems like an obstacle to be with her. I love her with all of my soul and being. It hurts, and the pain is unbearable at times, but it is all worth it to see that beautiful face light up when I say hello. Like anyone compares to her anyway. What's uncanny, however, is that I have a mutual fear. I love her so much I would be destroyed if she was gone. I mean that literally; I would have nothing left. Remember angel, Je ne suis amoureux la fille. Je ne suis amoureux l'homme. Je suis amoureux tu. Je suis amoureux mon ange.

F**** it

Look, I can't talk to my girlfriend who I see only once every two weeks. Her phone is screwed up. It really pisses me off. It's not your fault angel. I just want to murder all of verizon. My brother, doesn't let me on the internet to talk to her wtf? Currently, I'm at school and my essay was just deleted. I know I have a great god damn life!

My TRUE Family

Recently, I have been reunited with my closest, dearest friends. This was such a powerfully nostalgic moment of "the old days" that I decided to dedicate an entire post to it (I'm sweet I know), plus all my other friends have done it. I can't handle peer pressure. So, all of my friends decided to gather at my angel's house for Spring Break. At first I was a little nervous: Would we still have the same chemistry? Would I still seem funny? Have I changed? But as soon as we were all in that room together I realized we were the same sexually-confused kids we've always been. I realize now that no matter how far you live away, what school you go to, or whether you have a beard makes no difference. We all love one another. That's how it is, and that's how it will remain. I look at these people, and I don't see people i have to be cool for. It's just my family. We just lie on top of each other (see what I mean by sexually confused), tell stories, play some music, and of course watch the classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show. What reunion is complete without a group of teens strutting around screaming that they're sweet transvestites? God, life without them is just too lonely. I love them, and they love me. My biological family is always judging or screaming, but not this family. They are there for me. I trust them. I actually feel like they're my real family; as far as I'm concerned they are. We all my be weird or scary or sexually backward, but we have one another. No one really gives a crap if you like to kiss boys or girls you're still family. When we're all together everything is so smooth, never awkward. that's how friendship should be. Most people don't have this; I consider myself very lucky. I love you guys; you are not getting out of my life ever.

Gettin' Laid

Why is it that sex is so popular? Don't think I'm stupid; I get that it feels good. The trouble is that with sex comes a lot of troubles and worries: whether you can perform, diseases, pregnancy. No thanks, man. I'd rather not have my dick fall off. I think f****** is f****** overrated. I don't need all that stress for 3min. of feeling good. For the record, I'm not trying to make men feel bad for lasting three minutes, but that is the average...sadly. I'm sure "gettin' some" feels great, but just with AIDS and, well, babies there's a lot of risks. And, in all honesty, I really don't mind having sex with my hand.